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Basic Rules
God is a spy. *Confucius is a DJ *There was never a man named Benjamin Franklin. *Sposey blinks electricity. *Energy is supplied in the form of hamsters farting. *Socrates was a bear. *Statn is a wedding/party planner as well as a hitman. *Jesus is a therapist. *Don't Question It. *The official language is Pledge. *The flag is Pledge. *The national drink is Pledge. *The Presidential seal is a picture of a centaur and mermaid conjoined twins. (the first president) *National fair is Butts on Sticks *Baptism is with lemon juice. *Marriage ceremoy: both spouses have to hold hands and cut the lemon together. In a civil partnership, you have to cut an orange. *Oly food is citrus. *Cannibalism is encouraged- but ONLY if you can pronounce it. *No athletes foot- it's considered an illegal drug. *No fertilizer.. *Handcuffs are Chinese finger traps. They're very hard to get out of. *In prison, everyone quilts kilts. Peg legs are required after 6 months in prison. If you are sentenced to life, all limbs will be replaced with bananas. *The FDA only judges wine and salsa constests. *NCAA stands for "Never Create Ant Alibies" *Nate Witt is not allowed to partake in Tae Kwon Do. *Sposey is Korean. *Nicole is a dolphin. *It is required that children sleep in dungeons during the months of march, june, and december. *License suspension at the age of 28 years. *You are born with a driver's license. *Doctors must only perform surgeries in musical chrorus. *Nicole is the only doctor. *Any person who opposes their leaders will be executed. *By law of Dumbledore, all items that are ver on sale must be the exact same price- 5 yen. *Kentucky is its own country. The national item on the pole to represent independence is Windex. *All balding men must consume 278 cans of Spam in their lifetime. *It is required that all clothing must be tattooed on all persons. *In order to bath oneself, you must surgically remove your tattoo then bathe, then immediately tattoo yourself again. *National Polka Dancing Day begings on the last minute of Septermber, and never ends. *Brittany Fukushima by law must teach interpretive dance on the S&N Network. *The S&N network must have only 1 channel- Dance. There is not other network. If anyone else try to employ their own network they will be executed. *Sposey and Nicole must legally be worshipped as gods. *Worship must be held in Pitssburgh. *Worship days will always be on Wednesdays and Underwear Day. *In order to have a legal divorce, you and your spouse must squirt lemon juice in each other's eyes or complete a jigsaw puzzle. *The color "macaroni orange" is outlawed. *Any male drinking an apple or any other fruit flavored martini will be soaked in macho- I mean nacho cheese and spanked with a squirrel, *Witch trials must be held on every Tuesday in the Seasons of Spring. *Businessmen must carry a container of apple sauce. *Everyone on the Island of ""Chew Choo" must by law look like Jaspreet Singh. *Money will be in the form of glitter. Every piece of glitter represents $1.37 *Every Sunday at 5 pm everyone will dance to every album that Men Without Hats has ever released. *The subway system will consist of two rows of 12 people chained together and walking underground with mining hats.